"Why God Never Received Tenure"

From: Richard R Carlton <rcarlton@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu>

With appologies to Joobin Choobineh at Texas A&M, email
joobin@acs.tamu.edu via the list ICIS-L

 1. He had only one major publication.
 2. It was in Hebrew.
 3. It had no references.
 4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
 5. Some authorities doubt that he wrote it himself.
 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since?
 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
 8. The scientific community has a hard time replicating his results.
 9. He never applied to an Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.
10. When one experiment failed, he tried to cover up by drowning the
subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the
sample.
12. He rarely came to class, suggesting people read his book.
13. On many occasions he had his son do his research.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although he set only ten requirements, most subjects failed his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually were held on a mountain top.
17. He only worked six days a week.