The Redneck Dictionary of Medical Terms                                
      
 Benign:           What you be after you be eight 
 Artery:           The study of paintings. 
 Bacterica:        Back door to cafeteria.
 Barium:           What doctors do when patient dies. 
 Cesarean:         Section A neighborhood in Rome. 
 CTscan:           Searching for kitty.
 Cauterize:        Made eye contact with her. 
 Colic:            A sheep dog.
 Coma:             A punctuation mark. 
 D & C:            Where Washington is. 
 Dilate:           To live long.
 Enema:            Not a friend.
 Fester:           Quicker than someone else. 
 Fibula:           A small lie.
 Genital:          Non-Jewish person.
 G.I. Series:      World Series of the military. 
 Hangnail:         A place to put your coat. 
 Impotent:         Distinguished, Well known. 
 Labor pain:       Getting hurt at work.
 Medical Staff:    A Doctor's cane.
 Morbid:           A higher offer than I bid. 
 Nitrates:         Cheaper than day rates. 
 Node:             I knew that.
 Out patient:      A person who has fainted. 
 Pap Smear:        A fatherhood test. 
 Pelvis:           Second cousin to Elvis. 
 Post Operative:   A letter carrier.
 Recovery          Room:  Place to do upholstery. 
 Rectum:           Damn near killed him. 
 Secretion:        Hiding something.
 Tablet:           A small table.
 Terminal illness: Getting sick at the airport. 
 Tumor:            More than one.
 Urine:            Opposite of you're out. 
 Varicose:         Near by / Close by.