If you receive an e-mail with a subject of "Badtimes," delete it
immediately WITHOUT reading it.

This is the most dangerous Email virus yet.  It will re-write
your hard drive.  Not only that, but it will scramble any disks
that are even close to your computer.

It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all
your ice cream goes melty.

It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, screw
up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to
scratch any CD's you try to play.

It will give your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend your new phone number.
It will mix Kool-aid into your fishtank.  It will drink all your
beer and leave its socks out on the coffee table when there's
company coming over. It will put a dead kitten in the back
pocket of your good suit pants and hide your car keys when you
are late for work.

Badtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin.  It will
give you nightmares about circus midgets.  It will pour sugar in
your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your
current boyfriend/girlfriend behind your back and billing the
dinner and hotel room to your Visa card.

It will seduce your grandmother.  It does not matter if she is
dead, such is the power of Badtimes, it reaches out beyond the
grave to sully those things we hold most dear.

It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find
it. It will kick your dog.  It will leave libidinous messages on
your boss's voicemail in your voice!  It is insidious and
subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.  It is also a
rather interesting shade of
mauve.

Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease.  It will leave the
toilet seat up.  It will make a batch of Methamphetamine in your
bathtub and then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes
out to chase grade-schoolers with your new snowblower.

These are just a few of the signs ... be very careful!